If you are a mom you have been shamed.
Mom shaming is a term that has been going around the internet world for quite a few years. We have all heard of it and its nothing new. If you are a mom, you have been shamed. If you haven’t been mom shamed, please tell me down in the comments what it is that you are doing!
Ever swear you wouldn’t do this or that before you were a mom?
- My babies will NOT have screen time.
- My babies will NOT sleep in my bed.
- My babies will eat ONLY organic foods
…The list can go on and on
I am not saying you will or won’t do these things but just save yourself the potential emotional turmoil and THROW that list away. Every baby is different and life is never what you expect it to be. Everyone is in a different place in their life and the right decision for you and your child can be the wrong for someone else and their child. You will have enough other people mom shaming you that you need to make sure that you are not shaming yourself. Family members, friends and the random person at Walmart all feel the need to “guide” you in your parenting. Guard yourself and be ready.
On the same stroll at the park you can get both of these reactions:
“you should really have socks on that baby…”
“She’s going to sweat to death…”
You constantly hear things like:
“I don’t want to be THAT mom, but…Insert my beliefs that are different than yours”
“I hope that is breast milk in that bottle”
“What on Earth are they putting in the formula these days?”
“Your baby doesn’t look like he is getting enough calories… you must be breast feeding”
“If you are homeschooling, your kids are going to be un-socialized and dumb…”
“Your kids are in public school so they are going to end up in jail or pregnant”
“You are a working mom so you must not care about your kids”
“Staying at home with your kids is selfish…your poor husband”
…literally the rudest things vomit out of people’s mouths sometimes…
Being a mom is hard. Trying to decide if we are making the right decisions already gives us enough anxiety. The last thing we need is someone to come in and question OUR decisions. These aren’t their kids…they are YOURS.
The comments aren’t going to go away so try to understand that hurtful comments usually stem from a person’s lack of confidence in themselves or their own parenting skills. Just because someone else does one thing doesn’t mean you are doing it wrong. Momming is hard and we need to encourage each other and be there for each other. Why can’t we just have each other’s’ back? “Oh, you are bottle feeding? Girl, let me clip some coupons for you!” or “Oh, you are breast feeding? Girl, let me make you an essential oil blend to help those sore nipples.” We should be each other’s support system instead of bringing each other down.
Everyone wants to compare themselves to somebody else to make themselves feel better. Cut that mess out. Compare yourself to the person YOU want to be. None of us are there yet so just keep working at it. You are human and you are going to make mistakes. Don’t dwell on those mistakes. Learn from your mistakes and let them help you be better in the future. YOU ARE ENOUGH. You do YOU Mama bear! You are doing an AMAZING job and your babies are lucky to have you!